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Travelling Alone

December 21, 2010

I’ve had a few trips in the past year which I had to travel alone.
Not that i really like to do that, but usually it is the situation itself which implores me to do so.
Perhaps, I never want to miss out on the opportunity which presents itself to me. Isn’t it better to try then never? I don’t like regrets and I can’t possibly  always wait for others in life right?  Somehow  it always came to “I just had to do it.”

Even though I was scared but there was always some sense of excitement to it. Every time I have to travel anywhere alone, it is kind of stressful. My mind will be on full alert as i try to figure out how to go about my trip. There is no one to rely on and i have to be independent. It doesn’t help that I don’t make decisions easily, as I ponder whether to do this or that. It really drives me nuts at times. Usually I would let others decide for me and that always seem so easy, to just go along with whatever.

Also, fear is another factor which surfaces  and cripples me. I think it must be all the warnings which have been drilled into me by my mum. She would always exaggerate the danger outside, and the possibilities of what could happen. She had so many precautions for everything.  Sometimes i think she just wants us to stay home all the time. So there is this struggle between fully exploring a place  and the fear which stops me in many ways. At the same time, i know that this fear is false. It is not the reality at all. How do i know? Because the outside world is not showing any signs of danger and I’m reacting to nothing. And at those times when I’m not fearing for anything, I would thoroughly enjoy myself. Well it is not that I take complete trips alone by myself, usually there would be someone to pick me up or meet me somewhere  so that is not too bad I guess.

Well, apart from the flopsides, travelling alone by myself has given me some really nice experiences.  Mainly, meeting people which i would not usually have met if i was in a group. Being by myself, it forces me to break out of the normal mould. I’m forced to be more open and to communicate with other people. One of the most memorable times was in India, meeting with a family of indian villagers. We spent the night singing songs and they were very curious to know more about my country and culture. It was a teary exchange when we parted ways.

Also, it has been something of an  overcoming of personal challenges, to rise above all the negative thoughts on what could and may happen and really to just surrender everything to the Divine. Seeing my train for Milan leave in front of me, while I had been waiting for it for more than an hour at the platform was shattering! I didn’t know whether I would make my flight home. Somehow everything worked out and that left me the highlight to end the trip haha.

I’m really thankful that I came out of everything safely and have grown much out of those experiences.

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